Enraging Photographic Fads – An Uneducated Rant
“You know what really burns my ass? Flames this high [holds hand up to waist]. Well OK, that and a number of photographs I keep seeing. They really make me throw up a little in my mouth when I see them, and I see them a lot. Things usually annoy me and fester to the point where I snap and blurt something inappropriate out. My previous rant about photographs vs digital art really got me thinking. I really like ranting. It’s what I do on a day-to-day basis and something I have developed a taste for, similar to sunflower seeds, my crack of choice.
Today seems appropriate to mention the irritating world of water drops. How many shots of a flower petal, with a single (or more) water droplet, reflecting another flower or even some other tacky object in the droplet will we be subjected to? Apparently a lot. How many of these images must one person create? Since my previous rant is still fresh in my mind, is the image an actual photograph anymore or is it digital art? Ok we get it, now maybe you can show us something new.
Water drops. Its fun to try and capture a water drop. “OoOoooooh It’s shiny!” I did it. Then I moved on. Some people, however, are forever stuck in water drop land. Like a Brontosaurus balls deep in a tar pit. Waiting for some act of nature to put them out of their misery. For at least a decade I have been waiting for Steve Jobs or his lackies to invent the iKick, to allow users to groin kick dumbasses through their computer. My dream is still alive.
Paint drops. This is one step above regular water drops. It’s the ‘new and improved’ water drop fad. I think. If there were awards for most nauseating lack of interesting ideas, this category would be a regular contributor. I get the desire to donkey punch these image takers. But hey, to each his/her own right? Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Fruit dropping into water. For fuck sakes (FFS). Give your head a shake. So you like the Mona Lisa, don’t go out and try painting it over and over and over. Out of curiosity, what customer would want 1000 images of a strawberry dropping into milk on a spoon? Cherries into water? What looks like a masterpiece to you looks like lady gaga smearing her own feces all over herself to us. It’s like your herpes. Keep it to yourself.
Of course, as in all of my rants, there is a little grounded reality. There are lots of great water drop photographs. Plenty of interesting paint drop captures. Some amazing images of fruit dropping into liquids. Perhaps I grow tired of things too quickly. Even crackheads throw in the towel once in a while. Maybe I am quick to judge. I know I am underqualified to judge other peoples work, but since when did that ever stop anyone.
The world of photography is far too large to dwell in any one single subject or technique. The amount of garbage being spewn into the realm is stunning and beyond comprehension. I myself am guilty of contributing to it. But like any sentient being I am aware of my surroundings and at least make the attempt to change. I go over my work with as much distaste as I go over yours. I have deleted almost my entire first years catalouge of images. The ones I have kept are mediocre and are only left surviving to act as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Right now its not difficult as I am basically standing at the end of my driveway looking back. I haven’t made it far. Besides my grandma said she likes them and that she loves me.
I have to admit that a lot of images I described are actually better than my images. They incorporate more techniques and understand more of the concepts, like lighting, than I do. Maybe that’s part of my disgust. They are better than me. Thats usually the trigger for most bullies right? The are jealous and angry so they take it out on others. Sounds good to me. Want to really send me over the edge? Create a crappy image of a piece of fruit dropping into a glass of water and scribble in comic sans ‘Dance like nobody is watching’ across the top.
*Note* All of the images, except the paint drops, used in this rant were found at morguefile.com. They are free for public use. The paint drop image was linked from Layoutsparks.com. These photos were for illustrative purposes, not the specific subject of ridicule.
Troy Alan White
I now have four subscribers. I can officially call it a posse but not quite yet a following. We now have enough people to submit our registration for the Patty Cake International 4 member team tournament. Training starts monday. You too can join our bunch of merry men and women. The next 5 subscribers will be our pep squad. Free pom-poms. Note, not actual pom-poms but emails with paper cut outs.